Minutes With Messiah Logo

The Drive-Thru Church

by Tim O'Hearn

The Drive-Thru Church Menu

  Regular Super Sized
Welcome speech 2 minutes 3 minutes
Song 2 minutes 4 minutes
Prayer 3 minutes 5 minutes
Lord's Supper 5 minutes 10 minutes (mini-sermon included)
LS Combo (Lord's Supper & a song) 5 minutes 10 minutes
Contribution 5 minutes, no cash 5 minutes plus money
Sermon 20 minutes 30 minutes
Announcements 4 minutes 6 minutes
Fellowship 1 minute 10 minutes
Bible Class 45 minutes 1 hour
 
Limit: 3 hours per week, 3 hours if super-sized.

The Lord's Church Menu

Service to God 24 hours a day burger and fries
 
Served with all items off the Drive-Thru menu without limit plus an never-ending supply of the following side dishes:
 
Grace (Romans 5, Eph 2:7-9)
Forgiveness of Sins (Col 1:14; Acts 2:38; Eph 1:7)
Spiritual Blessings (Eph 1:3)
Holy Spirit (Romans 8; Gal 4:6; Gal 5:22-25; 1 Jn 3:24)
Adoption (Gal 4:4-7)
Trials of Faith (Matt 5:11-12; Jas 1:3)
Good Works (Eph 2:10; Titus 2:14; Titus 3:8)
Faith (Rom 1:17; Gal 2:20; Hebrews 11)
Hope (Rom 5:2-5; Rom 8:24-25; Col 1:27; Heb 6:18-19)
Love (Rom 5:5; Rom 8:35-39; 1 Jn 4:7-11)
Peace (Jn 14:27; Php 4:7)
Crown of Life (Jas 1:12; Rev 2:10)
Eternal Life (Jn 3:16; Jn 6:54; Rom 6:23; 1 Jn 5:11-13)