How can I deal with a backbiter at work? She is young and seems to be incredibly insecure. Even though I’ve tried to give her words of encouragement and have discouraged her gossiping about my supervisor, she continues to backbite me and is very sarcastic. I just started working there.
Answer
It does indeed sound as if she is insecure. Perhaps she is worried that you will be taking either her position or some of the attention or prestige she has in the company.
My first suggestion is that you live and work in such a way that nobody will believer what she says about you. Paul gives this advice to Titus. “In all things showing thyself an example of good works…that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of us.” (Titus 2:7-8) If she is gossiping about someone else, those who have been around her probably know that she is not trustworthy.
You say you have talked to her. If that doesn’t work, ask your supervisor to be present when you talk to her. Take documentation of your work to show that you are doing your job. This will let your supervisor know what is going on, and will follow the scriptural way of resolving such problems. “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” (Matt 18:15-17)
Finally, years ago I heard some advice from one of my officers. She had a sign on her desk that said, “Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty, and the pig loves it.” Do not allow yourself to follow the temptation to gossip and backbite against her. Doing so would only bring you down to her level, and there would be no hope of bringing her up to your level.