I've turned my back on the "gay" lifestyle many years ago, because in my heart I knew it was wrong. I knew if I didn't change my life and my way of thinking I would never find peace with myself, or with God. I only disagree with the statement saying it was a "choice." Somehow I don't think I made that choice when I knew I was "different" at the age of four. I'm sure there are many out there that made that choice, but not all of them. It's becoming more acceptable (to a lot of straight men) for straight married men to "choose" to be bisexual and have relationships with men, committing adultery with men, and making that "choice."
I work on this struggle daily. It's not something I would wish on anyone.
I do not mean to minimize your struggle by my comments. I have been assured on several occasions that it is a difficult struggle, similar in many ways to some people’s struggle against pornography addiction. That also, is not meant to say that the two are the same, just similar in some ways.
My approach has been that the Bible does not address feelings or desires when it calls homosexual acts sin and abomination. It addresses acts, and only acts. So from a biblical standpoint one cannot be guilty of homosexual acts at age four, for instance. At that age it is possible, even common, to suffer gender confusion to one degree or another. That confusion may continue for a long time, even indefinitely. The Bible does not condemn that. All that it condemns, in this general topic, are homosexual acts and cross-dressing. Those acts may result from gender confusion. From a biblical standpoint, however, they are choices, just like the choice to commit adultery or not. The choice may be made easier or harder by a lifetime of thinking.
I hope that this helps clarify what I mean by “choice.” Certainly, a four year old or a twelve year old may not be able to make such a choice. Feelings of being “different,” even a knowledge that one is so, at that age may not be a result of conscious choice. Acting one one’s sexual urges at a later age is generally a choice.