My boyfriend and I were having sex. We aren't now because we realized the sin we were committing. We are in love and plan on getting married some day but not now. Will we go to hell for having sex before marriage? if so, what is something I can do or pray to help get forgiven for our sins, because I don't want to go to hell. Please help me.
Answer
One does not go to hell just for having sex outside of marriage. One goes to hell because he or she has not taken advantage of God's free gift of salvation, forgiveness of sins. Fornication (the biblical word for sex outside of marriage) is a sin. But you have probably committed more sins than that one. "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:8) Any of our various sins is enough to separate us from God and from his presence in heaven, which will mean an eternity in hell.
So, what do you need to do to take advantage of God's free gift, and not go to hell? You have already taken the first step. You know you have sinned, and believe God can do something about it. And he has done something about it. He sent his only son to die as a man and bear the sins of mankind. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) But just believing is not all that is required. The faith he is talking about is an active faith, not just saying I believe.
You must also repent of your sins. That is just a fancy preacher phrase for saying that you are sorry about your sins and you don't plan on sinning again. God isn't going to save anyone who isn't willing to change their life. "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid." (Romans 6:1-2) In regards to having sex before you are married, you have obviously taken this step. But it needs to be sorrow for all sin, not just one, and a determination to avoid all sin. You may not always succeed in that determination, but God wants you to try.
When Peter preached the first sermon after Jesus died and was raised back to life (Acts 2), the listeners asked what they had to do to be saved. Peter said they had to repent, as already mentioned, but he added that they needed to be immersed in water (baptized) for the purpose of taking away their sins (Acts 2:38). Could they be forgiven just by praying? Apparently not. Saul (later called Paul) prayed hard for three days after he believed that Jesus was the Son of God and the one whose death takes away sin. But he still didn't have his sins forgiven. A man came to him after three days and said, "Now what are you waiting for? Arise and be immersed and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord." (Acts 22:16) This same Paul later said that baptism was like being buried to sin and beginning a new life (Romans 6:1-14). Who needs to baptize you? It really doesn't matter. It's what is in your heart, your attitude, that matters. If you can get anyone to baptize you it will count.
Once we begin that new, sin-free life what happens if we sin again? Do we get dunked in water again? No. That is where prayer comes in. In Acts 8:18-24 a Christian (baptized believer) sinned, and was not told to be immersed again. Instead he asked Peter to pray for him, and apparently that was enough. It is enough for one who has already believed, repented, and been immersed, but not for one who hasn't done those things.
Forgiveness of sins is a free gift of God. There is nothing we can do to deserve it. But God expects us to accept the gift. It does no good if we don't reach out and take it. It means changing your life. But the positive side is that you will have a better life now, and be with God in heaven for all eternity.
I hope this helps answer your question. And if you keep studying the Bible, you will eventually get to where you want to please God because of his love, and not just because you don't want to go to hell.
Thank you very much for answering my question. I've been baptized and I go to church. And I've been saved. But I still commit sins. When I get home I pray for the sins that I might have happened to do. I have another question. Say I go home and pray for that sin I committed and then I do it again some other time--maybe not soon but eventually--will God forgive me when I pray for that same sin again? Or not because I did it again? I'm a little confused on that part.
"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin." (1 John 1:7) I understand that that word "cleanses" is better translated "continually cleanses." It doesn't say that he cleans us from all never before committed sins, but all sin. When God forgives a sin it appears to be in his mind like it never happened. Thus, to ask forgiveness for the same kind of sin later is like it was a first time, in God's eyes. If we are to forgive the same sin in a person "seven times in a day" (Luke 17:4) when he asks forgiveness, how much more God will forgive.
This doesn't give us license to sin without concern for the results, though. The point of Romans 6 is that we not continue a sinful lifestyle because we now have a new life. As long as you are trying to live like Christ, he will help you through the temptations, and, if necessary, forgive the times you fall if you ask for forgiveness.