Please, I need your urgent help for me to stop homosexuality. It's affecting my whole life. It all started when I was 8years old. I have slept with about seventy something men. I want to get married to a lady, but last year December I got myself involved in the act again. And this has led to my being disfellowshiped from the church. And my relationship with both God and my finace is affected. Please help me. I want to stop this act of homosexuality completely.
First I must point out that I am not a licensed counselor. I will present what the Bible says on this question with as little comment as possible. If you choose to follow the Bible, you will solve your own problem.
Trust God's promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13-"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." Sometimes we have to be looking hard for the way of escape rather than looking for the way to sin.
Ask the church for help in combating the sin. "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16) Pray by yourself as well. In Acts 8, Paul told Simon the magician to pray that his sin would be forgiven him.
Romans 6:3-7, 12-18 (read the whole chapter)-"Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin … Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness."
Read Psalm 119. If one delights in God's word he will study that word. If one is busy studying God's word he can't be doing other things. Every time you are tempted by whatever sin, turn to the Bible. The temptation will go away. "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." (James 4:7-10)
Finally, a comment about "being disfellowshipped." Nowhere does the Bible say we should withdraw fellowship from an individual for a single act or sin. It is a course to be taken with a person who refuses to listen to the elders and continues to walk in an unruly manner. After you sinned, if you asked God and the church forgiveness and showed repentance, the church is under obligation to take you back into their fellowship (2 Cor 2:7-8). If you did not show repentance and ask forgiveness then you need to do so. You have demonstrated that repentance to me. Show it to others as well.
May God bless you and assist you in overcoming your temptations. He will continue to forgive if you but ask Him.